F1 weekend. In an effort to breathe life back into my life, I've started saying "Yes" to every invite I'm given. Daniel had an extra ticket to F1 (nice main grandstand spot this time) so I said "Yes" and bought it from him. Part of the ticket is a pre-race walk on the track and seeing the teams setting up in the garages, etc. That was today. We figured we'd see some FCA people there. Sure enough. Ron... not sure if you remember him, but if you saw him you would. He had the "ROMAN" plate and always blasted Italian opera out of his car at the Hangar. He walked up... "Hey [J]! Where's your wife?" I sort of stopped dead a bit, not sure how to answer. "Oh, is she not with you... too cold today" "uhhh... no, she's not... " "Not with you?" "Yeah... not... not *with* me" He could tell by my reaction there was more to it. "Wait... do you mean not 'with you' with you?...
I'm in love with this song... been listening to it for days on repeat... Only I can't for the life of me figure out the second line... I'm pretty sure the first one is "I just don't love you" (don't love you... don't love you... don't love you... don't love you) But I cannot for the life of me figure out the second one... "There's no more way to... ???" "There's only one way to.. ???" "There's no other way to... ???" Or I could have it all completely wrong and am just hearing what I want to... But my first thought: "[Most Beautiful] would be able to tell what they are saying, she always could... and she remembers every lyric ever". Dammit, [Most Beautiful]. God damn if little things like this that I adored about you make me miss the living hell out of everything about you. I hate it. So angry... So sad... So in love... So trying not to be any of that. EDIT: An...
I think I've said all I have to say... most things I've said multiple times and you clearly don't give a shit, so I think that's enough. I made a mistake in an emotional moment when I pointed you here, I should have just sent screenshots. Now this is no longer a place where I can come "scream into the void" and get things off of my chest. Once I opened it up to you it became a method of (unrequited) direct communication that now just leaves me even more depressed. I failed to see what a bad position I was putting myself in... once again at your mercy to treat me like a worthless piece of shit. I've come here numerous times and laid out all that I have to offer... each time getting nothing but silence from you. And each time it now only serves to make me feel bad about myself (while, I'm sure, making you feel great about yourself). I can't deal with that any more. I think I understand why you come here... it strokes your ego massively. I'...
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