After the Wine
I'm not sure if you still come here since I said I was done posting. Maybe I'll text you tomorrow to tell you this is here.
I'm sure you'll wake up tomorrow and regret that you reached out to me while you were tipsy, but it's okay. I'm very worried about you, but it's okay.
I have no clear idea where you are mentally and emotionally right now, but maybe I do have a small clue.
I get that you're lost and confused and all I can say is the same things I've been saying for 5 months:
I care about you.
You're important to me (and the kids are important to me).
I've heard you and I understand what you need from someone.
I'm only asking the opportunity to show you these things.
I'm not concerned about sweeping you off your feet romantically (although I can do that (again) if you'd like, in addition to the things I'm really focused on with "us")... my only concern right now is demonstrating to you that I can provide the support and stability you need. The rest for us can (and will) come in time.
I learned a lot about myself during our relationship... things that I was surprised and happy to find out about myself, the ways that I was not what I feared I might be....
but I've learned a HELL OF A LOT MORE after losing our relationship.. what's important to me, what I'm capable of, what I was feeling that I didn't show, decisions I wish I had made differently, etc etc etc.
But I also know where I failed and have apologized for that (and will continue to do so for as long as you need me to). I do not blame any of that on you. My only frustration in all of this with you has been not being given the opportunity to fix my mistakes that I have learned from.
I don't totally understand your hesitation to let me try, but I think I might get it a bit... and all I can say is what I have been saying for some time... just give me the chance to show you how things can be different. I've heard what you say you need and that I can be there for you. You have nothing to lose, but so much to gain.
We weren't some horrible, unhealthy couple. We were good before, but if we were to work through this together, I'm telling you we could be *amazing*.
There is no need to sadly drink glasses of wine alone, upset and confused when we could be sharing them happily, working toward making things better.
But... maybe what you wanted to say last night was that you don't have feelings for me any more. And, if that's the case, then there is no hope for us at all.
But... if you miss me at times, miss *us* at times... if, when you're sitting alone with the warm buzz of wine in your head (and the truth comes out), you just wish that we could have been "more" or "better" or "what you needed"...
... then reach out to me and take a chance.
Because I truly believe we can be exactly what it is you want us to be, you just have to be willing to give us a shot.
I hope you got some sleep.
I'm sure you'll wake up tomorrow and regret that you reached out to me while you were tipsy, but it's okay. I'm very worried about you, but it's okay.
I have no clear idea where you are mentally and emotionally right now, but maybe I do have a small clue.
I get that you're lost and confused and all I can say is the same things I've been saying for 5 months:
I care about you.
You're important to me (and the kids are important to me).
I've heard you and I understand what you need from someone.
I'm only asking the opportunity to show you these things.
I'm not concerned about sweeping you off your feet romantically (although I can do that (again) if you'd like, in addition to the things I'm really focused on with "us")... my only concern right now is demonstrating to you that I can provide the support and stability you need. The rest for us can (and will) come in time.
I learned a lot about myself during our relationship... things that I was surprised and happy to find out about myself, the ways that I was not what I feared I might be....
but I've learned a HELL OF A LOT MORE after losing our relationship.. what's important to me, what I'm capable of, what I was feeling that I didn't show, decisions I wish I had made differently, etc etc etc.
But I also know where I failed and have apologized for that (and will continue to do so for as long as you need me to). I do not blame any of that on you. My only frustration in all of this with you has been not being given the opportunity to fix my mistakes that I have learned from.
I don't totally understand your hesitation to let me try, but I think I might get it a bit... and all I can say is what I have been saying for some time... just give me the chance to show you how things can be different. I've heard what you say you need and that I can be there for you. You have nothing to lose, but so much to gain.
We weren't some horrible, unhealthy couple. We were good before, but if we were to work through this together, I'm telling you we could be *amazing*.
There is no need to sadly drink glasses of wine alone, upset and confused when we could be sharing them happily, working toward making things better.
But... maybe what you wanted to say last night was that you don't have feelings for me any more. And, if that's the case, then there is no hope for us at all.
But... if you miss me at times, miss *us* at times... if, when you're sitting alone with the warm buzz of wine in your head (and the truth comes out), you just wish that we could have been "more" or "better" or "what you needed"...
... then reach out to me and take a chance.
Because I truly believe we can be exactly what it is you want us to be, you just have to be willing to give us a shot.
I hope you got some sleep.
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