I Actually Did Ask :: Your Answer Was a Perfect, Simple "Yes"
I asked myself a question (because I'm unable to ask you):
Do you even miss me at all?
I thought about the last 6 weeks. In that time I've reached out to you repeatedly, but you only reached out to me early on... and then it was only regarding when you could get your things. Your only concern seemed to be how quickly you could exorcise yourself from our life, how quickly you could put me in the rear-view mirror, how quickly you could forget me, forget that our life together ever existed at all.
My days are bleak, colorless. I kill time... only I have no idea to what end. I'm not sure what it is that I am burning hours of my life to get to. I'm like a child trying to quickly pass the days until Christmas arrives... only there is no Christmas waiting in my scenario. Just an unending stream of identical days with no purpose.
I also wonder if you're happier now than you were 6 weeks ago. I'm not. I can't imagine that you are. And yet, I very much can imagine that you are. And if you are then that means you were disingenuous. If you are happier now that our life together is gone then you couldn't have been in love. At least not during the last few months. Although you always said you were. In fact, you were still smothering me with affection only 5 days before you threw me away as if I were some unwanted garbage, something with no value at all. You must have been lying when you helped me pick out my suit for the wedding. You must have been lying when you picked up your dress. Because if you were in love then, you wouldn't be "over it" a mere month later. But your lack of any contact with, and essentially ignoring any attempts I make to reach out to you, shows exactly how much you just want me to disappear.
Only I can't... because I have this huge fucking complicated mess to clean up that "we" created together. To build the life that "we" supposedly wanted.
You callously said "It's just selling a house and moving, people do it all the time". True.
Except.. YOU'RE not having to do any of it. I have to do it all, alone. You skated away and I'm left to deal with detangling all of the things we intertwined in our lives. It's not even about all the money I'll lose selling the house and your engagement/wedding rings. It's the fact that you bailed out, packed up and gone in less than 2 weeks while I have months (maybe years) to go through to deal with all that is left behind.
Today was an angry day. And one of the ones which are becoming more frequent... the ones where I wish I had never fucking met you. Or at least had been more aware of your callous nature from the start. Cold blooded. Heartless.
And don't deny it. At least show me enough respect to own your actions.
I wish I had never met you.
Do you even miss me at all?
I thought about the last 6 weeks. In that time I've reached out to you repeatedly, but you only reached out to me early on... and then it was only regarding when you could get your things. Your only concern seemed to be how quickly you could exorcise yourself from our life, how quickly you could put me in the rear-view mirror, how quickly you could forget me, forget that our life together ever existed at all.
My days are bleak, colorless. I kill time... only I have no idea to what end. I'm not sure what it is that I am burning hours of my life to get to. I'm like a child trying to quickly pass the days until Christmas arrives... only there is no Christmas waiting in my scenario. Just an unending stream of identical days with no purpose.
I also wonder if you're happier now than you were 6 weeks ago. I'm not. I can't imagine that you are. And yet, I very much can imagine that you are. And if you are then that means you were disingenuous. If you are happier now that our life together is gone then you couldn't have been in love. At least not during the last few months. Although you always said you were. In fact, you were still smothering me with affection only 5 days before you threw me away as if I were some unwanted garbage, something with no value at all. You must have been lying when you helped me pick out my suit for the wedding. You must have been lying when you picked up your dress. Because if you were in love then, you wouldn't be "over it" a mere month later. But your lack of any contact with, and essentially ignoring any attempts I make to reach out to you, shows exactly how much you just want me to disappear.
Only I can't... because I have this huge fucking complicated mess to clean up that "we" created together. To build the life that "we" supposedly wanted.
You callously said "It's just selling a house and moving, people do it all the time". True.
Except.. YOU'RE not having to do any of it. I have to do it all, alone. You skated away and I'm left to deal with detangling all of the things we intertwined in our lives. It's not even about all the money I'll lose selling the house and your engagement/wedding rings. It's the fact that you bailed out, packed up and gone in less than 2 weeks while I have months (maybe years) to go through to deal with all that is left behind.
Today was an angry day. And one of the ones which are becoming more frequent... the ones where I wish I had never fucking met you. Or at least had been more aware of your callous nature from the start. Cold blooded. Heartless.
And don't deny it. At least show me enough respect to own your actions.
I wish I had never met you.
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