"Where's Your Wife?" :: "I Know What Women Want"

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F1 weekend. In an effort to breathe life back into my life, I've started saying "Yes" to every invite I'm given. Daniel had an extra ticket to F1 (nice main grandstand spot this time) so I said "Yes" and bought it from him. Part of the ticket is a pre-race walk on the track and seeing the teams setting up in the garages, etc. That was today. We figured we'd see some FCA people there. Sure enough.

Ron... not sure if  you remember him, but if you saw him you would. He had the "ROMAN" plate and always blasted Italian opera out of his car at the Hangar.

He walked up... "Hey [J]! Where's your wife?"
I sort of stopped dead a bit, not sure how to answer.
"Oh, is she not with you... too cold today"
"uhhh... no, she's not... "
"Not with you?"
"Yeah... not... not *with* me"
He could tell by my reaction there was more to it.
"Wait... do you mean not 'with you' with you?"
"Right"
"Oh wow... I'm... I'm so sorry... You guys were so cute together. Wait... you guys were married, right?"
"Nope... two weeks away from it"
"Oh wow... I'm... I'm so sorry.. wow"
"Yeah"
"Well... you know, it took me a long time, but I finally figured out what it is that women want"
"Oh yeah, Ron, what's that?"
"More"

One thing about that exchange that was interesting (other than the profound quote which has now become my mantra)... How many people, like Scott, who would always refer to you as "my wife". Even before we were engaged lots of people already thought we were married. I found that very comforting and it made me proud. Christ, did I want you to be my wife forever. I still can't believe you threw this all away so quickly and easily... I gave you so much... but hey, what do women want?

More.

Gala dinner tomorrow. I'm sure there will be lots more conversations like that one.

If I hear "I'm so sorry, you two were so adorable and always seemed so happy together" one more fucking time.

People continue to try to throw romantic interests at me. And all I can think is how they aren't the one person on Earth I want them to be (even before I meet them). This is all going exactly as I expected it would. You moved on quickly, just like you "S Girls" always do... and I meander, still in love... a love I clearly was in alone to a large degree. Hope you're having a wonderful fucking time.

Still a head filled with awful thoughts... especially on the weekends, when I'm sure you're going out on dates... followed by other things.

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